It's for science

[birdsofshore]

I'm spending a happy hour going through the fab fics and graphics at the love fest , and trying to write a Luna thing for it, but I just wanted to tell you all that I spent two and a half hours this afternoon studying the anatomy of Mr. Thomas Hiddleston at the Donmar Theatre, and I am fully prepared to answer any and all questions you may have on the subject of his body acting. I was in the front row of the circle and there was naked flesh and a shower scene and all sorts.



I know, I am very soft-hearted. It was a tough job, but I did it all for you.

Comments

[oakstone730.livejournal.com]

So Jealous!

[birdsofshore]

I know. I'm even jealous of myself. I want to see it AGAINNNNNNNNNN.

[knowmefirst.livejournal.com]

Lol! All I read was men dip in chocolate :P

[birdsofshore]

OK, it wasn't in fact chocolate. It was blood. But chocolate is so much nicer than blood. Especially when it's all over Tom Hiddleston's naked torso and being showered off in front of your eyes.

[kedavranox.livejournal.com]

I just groaned and collapsed in a heap on my bed. I can't handle my jealousy feels.

[birdsofshore]

If it helps, I can describe his arse in vivid detail for as long as you like. Or indeed any part of him.

I'm sorry about the groaning and collapsing. I understand. Originally who_la_hoop and omi_ohmy went without me and I couldn't go. I did actually shed tears (before slapping myself a bit).

[playing-perfect.livejournal.com]

Please give as much detail about his body and that shower scene as you care to relate. And was there smiling at all? God I love that man's smile.

[birdsofshore]

Well IF I MUST, THEN. :DDD

There was not much smiling. The play is so awfully grim D: I had to hide on who_la's shoulder, a bit. Also, I may have groped her inappropriately for a while when he first came on, just to relieve my feelings :DD

His body is really quite nnnnnngh. Whoever decided that what a Shakespearean production REALLY needed was skinny jeans, boots and random bits of leather with buckles, attached to odd parts of the body, well. I would like to shake them by the hand.

His arse is not so jutty as it looks in a tight suit, though. It's more neat. His legs are divine. That doesn't fully convey how good they are, though. I'll try again: HIS LEGS ARE DIVINE. Grown women were gazing upon them and weeping. With joy. And gnashing their teeth. The whole play was just drowned out with weeping and gnashing, and ovaries sproinging **







** this may be a lie

[omi-ohmy.livejournal.com]

I truly admire your commitment to science. You didn't faint, then?

:D

[birdsofshore]

I didn't faint! I hid a tiny bit. I made a special study of his crotch IN THE INTERESTS OF SCIENCE. I blame that tumblr all about the contents of his trousers. I had to check to see if they were right about the Hiddlessnake.

THEY WERE.

[capitu]

Aw, Birds, you're always taking one for the team. XD

[birdsofshore]

I KNOW. MY MIDDLE NAME IS ALTRUISM.

If someone will get me more tickets, I agree to go and see it again ONE LAST TIME. But that's it, OK????

[subtlefire.livejournal.com]

I'm going to need you to download your entire memory of this experience directly into my brain.

[birdsofshore]

No problem. I'll send the memory by owl. You do have a Pensieve at home, yes?

[ashindk.livejournal.com]

Hngggg! I can't even! So jealous! Please go on with the arse describing. In detail. Great detail. Also, the shower. Again. In great detail. Please!

[birdsofshore]

I think I will have to come back to this to do it justice. But his arse was grabbable. I couldn't understand why the actor playing his wife could stop herself from just CLUTCHING it and having a good grind when they were embracing :DD

this show will be broadcast to cinemas for one or two days - check NT listings

[khalulu]

I actually don't know the actor, but do know the play, so I found out that this production is going to get broadcast live one night and then have "encore" showings to various theatres internationally on a few dates, so people should check here to see if there will be one near you: http://ntlive.nationaltheatre.org.uk/productions/ntlout5-coriolanus

Re: this show will be broadcast to cinemas for one or two days - check NT listings

[khalulu]

not the same as being there, I realize.

Re: this show will be broadcast to cinemas for one or two days - check NT listings

[birdsofshore]

I think in the UK, the film was shown on 30th Jan, but it would be great if people could see the encore showings. I agree it's not exactly like being there, but pretty wonderful all the same! Personally I'd love to see it again, I feel there were so many parts I missed (while staring slack-jawed O_O)

[raitala.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, you say you have memorized every inch and ask what I want to know?

Every. Single. Perfect. Inch.

Describe the back of his neck. Describe his ankles and feet. What is his voice like, live? I want it all!

[birdsofshore]

Now THAT'S the kind of request I like :DD My research will really pay off here. I need to come back to this later, to do it justice, but suffice to say for now that the back of his neck was LICKABLE.

[birdsofshore]

A boring Monday lunchtime reminded me that I never came back to perve in massive detail give you this valuable information.

For more details please see above, also. As touched on briefly, the back of his neck was lickable. His entire upper body is kind of what I would have to describe as perfect. Especially when naked and glistening perfectly with perfect droplets of water as he groaned erotically and contorted his perfect body in front of my not-disinterested face.

His ankles were delicious, with a beautiful turn to them. His feet were endearingly odd - long and slightly crooked. He wore a sort of see-through nightshirt at one point - the legs were verrrrrrry nice indeed all the way up. Those stage lights are terribly bright - what a shame that was. His calves were mesmerising and covered with pale hair.

When he made eye contact I thought I was going to levitate off the seat. Or burn a hole in it. The front row of the stalls got a lot more eye contact than we did - there were several permanently startled-looking women down there, looking as if they would stumble home wearing the expression of having gazed on raptures not meant for human eyes :DD

Anything else in particular? I'm spending a happy half hour just refreshing my memory during naptime.

[firethesound]

So, I've just discovered that it's not actually possible to die of jealousy, so... there's that. Because I am so very very jealous, and right now there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth and raving about the injustice of a world in which I have to live so far away from everything that is amazing and awesome.

Ahem.

So. Tell me about the backs of his knees. His ankles. Forearms? Hipbones, were there hipbones?? Were you momentarily blinded by his wonderful beautiful smile? DID HE MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU?? ::flails::

[birdsofshore]

I have been rubbish about getting back to people on this, but I still will. THERE WAS EYE CONTACT. I thought I might combust, and just leave a small pile of singed clothing and hair on the seat. I was seriously jealous with the ladies in the front row of the stalls - they got more eye contact than we did up in the circle, but it happened about 4 times, I would say, and each time was ELECTRIC. Just - fucking hell, man, are you actually human or some sort of sex alien?

[mayfly-78.livejournal.com]

I'm so jealous! I saw the live screening at a cinema on the 30th of january and it was brilliant, but I couldn't help thinking how much more brilliant it would have been if I were at the theatre!

[birdsofshore]

It was fairly brilliant. It's always more buzzy at the theatre, and the physical proximity was wondrously distracting (it was a very small theatre, so it felt very intimate). But it's great you got to see the screening - I bet that was wonderful, too.