It's for science

[birdsofshore]

I'm spending a happy hour going through the fab fics and graphics at the love fest , and trying to write a Luna thing for it, but I just wanted to tell you all that I spent two and a half hours this afternoon studying the anatomy of Mr. Thomas Hiddleston at the Donmar Theatre, and I am fully prepared to answer any and all questions you may have on the subject of his body acting. I was in the front row of the circle and there was naked flesh and a shower scene and all sorts.



I know, I am very soft-hearted. It was a tough job, but I did it all for you.

Comments

[firethesound]

So, I've just discovered that it's not actually possible to die of jealousy, so... there's that. Because I am so very very jealous, and right now there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth and raving about the injustice of a world in which I have to live so far away from everything that is amazing and awesome.

Ahem.

So. Tell me about the backs of his knees. His ankles. Forearms? Hipbones, were there hipbones?? Were you momentarily blinded by his wonderful beautiful smile? DID HE MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU?? ::flails::

[birdsofshore]

I have been rubbish about getting back to people on this, but I still will. THERE WAS EYE CONTACT. I thought I might combust, and just leave a small pile of singed clothing and hair on the seat. I was seriously jealous with the ladies in the front row of the stalls - they got more eye contact than we did up in the circle, but it happened about 4 times, I would say, and each time was ELECTRIC. Just - fucking hell, man, are you actually human or some sort of sex alien?

[firethesound]

So, if we ever meet in person, there are going to be a few awkward seconds where I stare deep into the eyes that have made eye contact with Tom Hiddleston. Just be aware of that.

I probably wouldn't rule out sex alien. We need to figure out how to contact his home planet and ask them to please beam down more of him.

[birdsofshore]

Yes. I might go around charging people, to eye fuck them with the eyes that have made contact with a sex alien.

I don't think we should encourage the home planet to beam down more. I think they sent down Hiddles to test out whether they'll be able to successfully conquer our planet. IT HAS WORKED ONLY TOO WELL.

[firethesound]

I don't know... I'm sort of okay with being conquered by sex aliens if they all look like him.

[birdsofshore]

I realised I had neglected to give a full answer here, so I kindly decided to gift you with another dose of my perverted recollections poetic reminiscences.

First of all, the backs of the knees were mighty fine. His legs are really rather superb. He was wearing a rather thin nightshirt and there was a lot of leg on show, and plenty more revealed via bending over, and the opacity of the material under the lights. The legs appeared to be impeccable all the way to the top. I didn't really hear a lot of those speeches, put it that way.

His ankles were of a very high standard, but the calves sort of eclipsed them. A man in a long shirt, with bare feet and distinctly perfect fucking calves peeking out, covered in pale, fuzzy-looking hair... does it get any better? OH, YES, I FORGOT, IT DOES, because when he got changed after the nightshirt scene, he was wearing different trousers and there really did not seem to be enough room in them for his genitalia. Which looked to be on the generous side. Ok, I lie, which looked to be on the HELLO, AM I DREAMING side.

Hipbones? *waves hand airily*, god, I can't even remember if there were hipbones. There was skinny jeans and a half-naked, writhing grunting shower with water droplets THAT HAD TOUCHED HIS BODY FLYING AROUND THE AUDITORIUM, and he SPOKE and MOVED and LOOKED ME IN THE EYE and KISSED MEN and DID SWORD FIGHTING and SNUGGLED HIS WIFE and he really is too dangerously attractive to be allowed out.

I'm on a roll here, so if you want more details, speak up :D

[firethesound]

"he was wearing different trousers and there really did not seem to be enough room in them for his genitalia."

I would like to find who was in charge of costuming and shake their hand.