It's for science

[birdsofshore]

I'm spending a happy hour going through the fab fics and graphics at the love fest , and trying to write a Luna thing for it, but I just wanted to tell you all that I spent two and a half hours this afternoon studying the anatomy of Mr. Thomas Hiddleston at the Donmar Theatre, and I am fully prepared to answer any and all questions you may have on the subject of his body acting. I was in the front row of the circle and there was naked flesh and a shower scene and all sorts.



I know, I am very soft-hearted. It was a tough job, but I did it all for you.

Comments

[knowmefirst.livejournal.com]

I agree with you, well no wait, lets just get him naked that would be much better :D

[raitala.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, you say you have memorized every inch and ask what I want to know?

Every. Single. Perfect. Inch.

Describe the back of his neck. Describe his ankles and feet. What is his voice like, live? I want it all!

[birdsofshore]

Now THAT'S the kind of request I like :DD My research will really pay off here. I need to come back to this later, to do it justice, but suffice to say for now that the back of his neck was LICKABLE.

Re: this show will be broadcast to cinemas for one or two days - check NT listings

[birdsofshore]

I think in the UK, the film was shown on 30th Jan, but it would be great if people could see the encore showings. I agree it's not exactly like being there, but pretty wonderful all the same! Personally I'd love to see it again, I feel there were so many parts I missed (while staring slack-jawed O_O)

[birdsofshore]

I think I will have to come back to this to do it justice. But his arse was grabbable. I couldn't understand why the actor playing his wife could stop herself from just CLUTCHING it and having a good grind when they were embracing :DD

[birdsofshore]

No problem. I'll send the memory by owl. You do have a Pensieve at home, yes?

[birdsofshore]

It may not compare to the live experience, but it'll be pretty fucking brilliant, so don't despair :DD

[ashindk.livejournal.com]

Grabbing, clutching and grinding sounds like a very appropriate response to close proximity w. Hiddles arse *nods*. It's what I would do...

[kedavranox.livejournal.com]

Omgg. I didn't know Dean was in this!!

Flails!

He looks so adorable!

[birdsofshore]

Gosh, yes, he was delightful. He's a beautiful young man. Did you see him in Sherlock, too? I'd love to see his acting career really take off.

[kedavranox.livejournal.com]

Yes I did! Eeeee! Those dimples!

[subtlefire.livejournal.com]

I am ready!

[firethesound]

So, I've just discovered that it's not actually possible to die of jealousy, so... there's that. Because I am so very very jealous, and right now there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth and raving about the injustice of a world in which I have to live so far away from everything that is amazing and awesome.

Ahem.

So. Tell me about the backs of his knees. His ankles. Forearms? Hipbones, were there hipbones?? Were you momentarily blinded by his wonderful beautiful smile? DID HE MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU?? ::flails::

[geneva2010.livejournal.com]

That gorgeous tall red-coat was Dean? My heavens, what a hottie.

[mayfly-78.livejournal.com]

I'm so jealous! I saw the live screening at a cinema on the 30th of january and it was brilliant, but I couldn't help thinking how much more brilliant it would have been if I were at the theatre!

[birdsofshore]

It was fairly brilliant. It's always more buzzy at the theatre, and the physical proximity was wondrously distracting (it was a very small theatre, so it felt very intimate). But it's great you got to see the screening - I bet that was wonderful, too.

[birdsofshore]

I have been rubbish about getting back to people on this, but I still will. THERE WAS EYE CONTACT. I thought I might combust, and just leave a small pile of singed clothing and hair on the seat. I was seriously jealous with the ladies in the front row of the stalls - they got more eye contact than we did up in the circle, but it happened about 4 times, I would say, and each time was ELECTRIC. Just - fucking hell, man, are you actually human or some sort of sex alien?

[birdsofshore]

I know! I was hopefully anticipating a rise in Dean shipping :D He is very very appealing in real life. Quite the eyecatcher, even with Mr Hiddleston on the stage.

[firethesound]

So, if we ever meet in person, there are going to be a few awkward seconds where I stare deep into the eyes that have made eye contact with Tom Hiddleston. Just be aware of that.

I probably wouldn't rule out sex alien. We need to figure out how to contact his home planet and ask them to please beam down more of him.

[birdsofshore]

Yes. I might go around charging people, to eye fuck them with the eyes that have made contact with a sex alien.

I don't think we should encourage the home planet to beam down more. I think they sent down Hiddles to test out whether they'll be able to successfully conquer our planet. IT HAS WORKED ONLY TOO WELL.

[firethesound]

I don't know... I'm sort of okay with being conquered by sex aliens if they all look like him.

[birdsofshore]

I realised today that I needed another excuse to totally perve over my memories never got back to you on this topic. The arse was good. It was really good. It looks flatter in skinny jeans than it does in those suits. Which makes me suspect that he has those suits SPECIALLY CUT to show off his little pert arse. Which is a big nnnnnghhhhh in itself. However, I was not disappointed by the amount of arse. It was made for groping. And interestingly, regarding the front view, the Hiddlessnake was totally under control and not much visible in the skinny jeans, but after a costume change and a different pair of trousers, OMG it was totally out there. The man is definitely gifted with a, *cough* not wishing to be crude at all, but basically, a massive whanger.

The shower was, well, what can I say. It was Tom Hiddleston, half naked, having a shower on a stage in front of me. And he was all battle-wounded and bloody at that point, so there was a LOT of writhing and groaning as he stood and let streams of water cascade over his perfect, honed, perfect, muscular, did I say perfect? body.

So, yeah, I didn't actually mind watching. It was OK, you know? ;-)

[birdsofshore]

A boring Monday lunchtime reminded me that I never came back to perve in massive detail give you this valuable information.

For more details please see above, also. As touched on briefly, the back of his neck was lickable. His entire upper body is kind of what I would have to describe as perfect. Especially when naked and glistening perfectly with perfect droplets of water as he groaned erotically and contorted his perfect body in front of my not-disinterested face.

His ankles were delicious, with a beautiful turn to them. His feet were endearingly odd - long and slightly crooked. He wore a sort of see-through nightshirt at one point - the legs were verrrrrrry nice indeed all the way up. Those stage lights are terribly bright - what a shame that was. His calves were mesmerising and covered with pale hair.

When he made eye contact I thought I was going to levitate off the seat. Or burn a hole in it. The front row of the stalls got a lot more eye contact than we did - there were several permanently startled-looking women down there, looking as if they would stumble home wearing the expression of having gazed on raptures not meant for human eyes :DD

Anything else in particular? I'm spending a happy half hour just refreshing my memory during naptime.

[raitala.livejournal.com]

Tell me about his voice - what is it like live?

Also, firethesound asked about hipbones, which I must echo. I love your observations about his suits being cut to maximize posterior pertness. I am SURE this is a thin in those skinny suits - and indeed, why wouldn't it be?

[birdsofshore]

I realised I had neglected to give a full answer here, so I kindly decided to gift you with another dose of my perverted recollections poetic reminiscences.

First of all, the backs of the knees were mighty fine. His legs are really rather superb. He was wearing a rather thin nightshirt and there was a lot of leg on show, and plenty more revealed via bending over, and the opacity of the material under the lights. The legs appeared to be impeccable all the way to the top. I didn't really hear a lot of those speeches, put it that way.

His ankles were of a very high standard, but the calves sort of eclipsed them. A man in a long shirt, with bare feet and distinctly perfect fucking calves peeking out, covered in pale, fuzzy-looking hair... does it get any better? OH, YES, I FORGOT, IT DOES, because when he got changed after the nightshirt scene, he was wearing different trousers and there really did not seem to be enough room in them for his genitalia. Which looked to be on the generous side. Ok, I lie, which looked to be on the HELLO, AM I DREAMING side.

Hipbones? *waves hand airily*, god, I can't even remember if there were hipbones. There was skinny jeans and a half-naked, writhing grunting shower with water droplets THAT HAD TOUCHED HIS BODY FLYING AROUND THE AUDITORIUM, and he SPOKE and MOVED and LOOKED ME IN THE EYE and KISSED MEN and DID SWORD FIGHTING and SNUGGLED HIS WIFE and he really is too dangerously attractive to be allowed out.

I'm on a roll here, so if you want more details, speak up :D