Mad squibs

[birdsofshore]

I couldn't sleep last night and in a dozy state, came up with the idea of writing a Harry / Draco mad lib. If you've never done a mad lib before, it's really easy: just follow the prompts in the link below, to fill in words, any words you like. E.g, under "noun", you could type "hat" or "avocado" or "nuclear missile". Then click "show me my story" and enjoy :-)

If you get some funny results, please cut and paste and share them in the comments.

Write your own Harry / Draco innuendo here

Comments

Hahaha.... "it's flying on my buttocks"

[marianna-merlo.livejournal.com]

"Come here Potter, I want to show you something impressive," said Draco.

"I've seen that plenty of times, Draco, you don't need to show me now, " said Harry carefully.

"But this is a new one. The old one never sat for me so well after you... did those things to Voldemort with it. I think you'll like this one much better. It's squishy," announced Draco, and he fumbled with his robes before pulling it out.

"Hurry!!" yelled Harry. "I've never seen one like that before!"

Draco smirked and waggled his ear at Harry.

"It's nothing like your old one!" went on Harry. "It's 3 inches long, for a start. And it's much more blue than before."

"I know. I'm so angry about it. Do you want to try it?" asked Draco.

"I'm not sure. Does it eat? I don't want it to go off and make a mess all over my underwear."

"Come on, where's that famous Gryffindor spunk? Get hold of it– no, not like that– grip it with your elbow."

Harry grasped it roughly.

"Gosh, it's really sensitive. And twice as slippery as the old one."

"I know. I think it's even as giant as Dean Thomas's," said Draco.

"Have you shown it to anyone else? I think Luna Lovegood would like to see it."

"No way. That would be too hard. It's just our little secret. I don't want you to tell other frogs."

"Draco. It seems to like me. It's gone all pink and it's flying on my buttocks."

"Well, you know what they say... the wand chooses the fish."

Re: Hahaha.... "it's flying on my buttocks"

[birdsofshore]

*hooting*
Is this as funny as I think it is, or am I just really immature?

Don't answer that.

Can we post the link to it on communities, or is it really not appropriate?

Re: Hahaha.... "it's flying on my buttocks"

[indyonblue.livejournal.com]

This has really made me giggle, so thanks!!

I got a 16 inch jewelled one, that Harry had to grip with his tongue

Re: Hahaha.... "it's flying on my buttocks"

[birdsofshore]

Lucky Harry! :-D

[queenie-mab.livejournal.com]

"Come here Potter, I want to show you something impressive," said Draco.

"I've seen that plenty of times, Draco, you don't need to show me now, " said Harry delicately.

"But this is a new one. The old one never sucked for me so well after you... did those things to Voldemort with it. I think you'll like this one much better. It's juicy," announced Draco, and he fumbled with his robes before pulling it out.

"Merlin's pants!" yelled Harry. "I've never seen one like that before!"

Draco smirked and waggled his nipple at Harry.

"It's nothing like your old one!" went on Harry. "It's 3 inches long, for a start. And it's much more soft than before."

"I know. I'm so weary about it. Do you want to try it?" asked Draco.

"I'm not sure. Does it fuck? I don't want it to go off and make a mess all over my banana hammock."

"Come on, where's that famous Gryffindor spunk? Get hold of it– no, not like that– grip it with your foot."

Harry grasped it objectively.

"Gosh, it's really fast. And twice as solid as the old one."

"I know. I think it's even as orgasmic as Dumbledore's," said Draco.

"Have you shown it to anyone else? I think Hagrid would like to see it."

"No way. That would be too freaky. It's just our little secret. I don't want you to tell other shoes."

"Draco. It seems to like me. It's gone all silver and it's tucking on my lip."

"Well, you know what they say... the wand chooses the book."

hahahaha.... This is way too much fun!

[birdsofshore]

:D "banana hammock"? that was a new one on me.

I had forgotten about this post, I was going to link to it somewhere, to share the innuendo love around.

[mistress-mint.livejournal.com]

"Come here Potter, I want to show you something impressive," said Draco.

"I've seen that plenty of times, Draco, you don't need to show me now, " said Harry merrily.

"But this is a new one. The old one never jumped for me so well after you... did those things to Voldemort with it. I think you'll like this one much better. It's crimson," announced Draco, and he fumbled with his robes before pulling it out.

"Holy fuck!" yelled Harry. "I've never seen one like that before!"

Draco smirked and waggled his palate at Harry.

"It's nothing like your old one!" went on Harry. "It's 17.25 inches long, for a start. And it's much more glossy than before."

"I know. I'm so psyched about it. Do you want to try it?" asked Draco.

"I'm not sure. Does it dance? I don't want it to go off and make a mess all over my tutu."

"Come on, where's that famous Gryffindor spunk? Get hold of it– no, not like that– grip it with your pinky."

Harry grasped it smoothly.

"Gosh, it's really grimey. And twice as fruity as the old one."

"I know. I think it's even as robust as charlie weasley's," said Draco.

"Have you shown it to anyone else? I think Rita Skeeter would like to see it."

"No way. That would be too smokey. It's just our little secret. I don't want you to tell other gorillas."

"Draco. It seems to like me. It's gone all petal pink and it's teleporting on my eyelid."

"Well, you know what they say... the wand chooses the boot."

[birdsofshore]

Haha! I love Draco waggling his palate, and the teleporting eyelid XD

[just-heidi.livejournal.com]

"Come here Potter, I want to show you something impressive," said Draco.

"I've seen that plenty of times, Draco, you don't need to show me now, " said Harry extremely.

"But this is a new one. The old one never danced for me so well after you... did those things to Voldemort with it. I think you'll like this one much better. It's interesting," announced Draco, and he fumbled with his robes before pulling it out.

"Jee Wiz!" yelled Harry. "I've never seen one like that before!"

Draco smirked and waggled his hip at Harry.

"It's nothing like your old one!" went on Harry. "It's 4 inches long, for a start. And it's much more ugly than before."

"I know. I'm so bewildered about it. Do you want to try it?" asked Draco.

"I'm not sure. Does it fly? I don't want it to go off and make a mess all over my bathrobe."

"Come on, where's that famous Gryffindor spunk? Get hold of it– no, not like that– grip it with your nose."

Harry grasped it wonderfully.

"Gosh, it's really fast. And twice as slow as the old one."

"I know. I think it's even as bad as Hagrid's," said Draco.

"Have you shown it to anyone else? I think Dumbledore would like to see it."

"No way. That would be too difficult. It's just our little secret. I don't want you to tell other busses."

"Draco. It seems to like me. It's gone all purple and it's rimming on my eyelid."

"Well, you know what they say... the wand chooses the purse."

(The last part really made me LOL ^_^)

[birdsofshore]

love it! "I think it's even as bad as Hagrid's", hee hee

[globmacsoftzar.livejournal.com]

Hey This is hard for me because I have never done anything like this.. but I have a huge crush on you. I have never been able to tell you for reasons which you would quickly identify as obvious if you knew who this was. I'm really attracted to you and I think you would be wanting to get with *Read FULL Card Here* http://lovedate.unudulmaz.com

[birdsofshore]

Ahehehehehee. This is brilliant. Of course I am wanting to get with. I bet you're not a spammer at all - who would NOT have a crush on me after reading my fantastic innuendo filled nonsense. I am only surprised more people haven't left me messages like this, really.