What makes for good dirty talk? (~in fic)

[birdsofshore]

I had an idea for a story and it would probably involve a lot of dirty talking and general filthiness. Then I realised that this is something I really struggle with.

What, in your opinion, makes dirty talking hot in fic? Are there things that just don't work for you when you're reading it? What is your favourite kind to read? Have you got a favourite story that involves dirty talk? And, if you're a writer, can you give me any tips? Because I sort of stink at it. I do try, because I know it's great when it works, but I usually fail and have to be bailed out by a beta. I got several compliments on a filthy line in a recent fic and it was actually raitala's doing, LOL.

I even feel awkward READING dirty talk, often, because I'm not always sure how I feel about people calling each other slut and so on, and I'm not fond of porny descriptions of dripping holes. So I basically need a Dirty Talk primer. Can you help? Thank you!

Comments

[capitu]

I don't have an awful lot to say that hasn't said already, but I did found this!

Wait, huge pic. Best come over here. ^^

[firethesound]

I am laughing so hard at this I'm crying. Actual tears, runny-nosed, CRYING.

[capitu]

I know!!! XD

[lq-traintracks.livejournal.com]

OMG. Dirty-bad = "Your mom's a whore." *dies laughing* Although, I can think of some fics where that could really work. What does that say about me? O_o Not so much "Hail Satan!" though. Well, Death Eater on Death Eater and just change it to Voldemort. See, this is the problem: they all work in different situations, dammit!

But yeah, Capi, this rules. I'm saving it for all my dirty talk needs.

[capitu]

LOL! You!

Actually, I think some of those might work too. And the 'not your partner's name - not their gender', that's a fic right there!!!

<3

[birdsofshore]

Oh, my god. That is COMPLETELY EXCELLENT.

I'm going to pound the farts out of you. Well, what's wrong with THAT?

I so want to slip that into a fic and see what my betas say. Oh, I need to!

We're both going to hell for this. That sounds more than acceptable to me. I'm being serious, now!

[capitu]

I knew you'd appreciate it, Birds. ;)

[firethesound]

The "I'm going to pound the farts out of you" was what really set me off.

Also, did you see that T-Rex noises are on the positive side of the chart?? :D :D :D

[birdsofshore]

OMG NO
I missed that totally

It's the best chart ever. I nearly lost my head and posted it to my (non fandom) facebook page, but I regained control just at the last minute.

[potteresque_ire]

Well, what's wrong with THAT?
*Ponders*
I suppose, technically speaking, the farts, as pre-farts, are pounded into the poundee, who later releases it as proper farts after the pre-fart generating piston action, ie. the pounding, is removed...
*ponders some more*

:D *Huggles!!!!*

[birdsofshore]

*snort* This has just made me want to use the phrase EVEN MORE.

[iwao.livejournal.com]

OMG!! You just made me cry with laughter!! This is THE BEST!!! *nicks it*

[capitu]

I know, right? ♥♥♥

Miss you, little one. *snuggles*

[potteresque_ire]

I ♥ you <3. This chart needs a fic (and is a fic) by itself.

[capitu]

♥

I am so remembering this graphic for the next prompting fest. :D

[birdsofshore]

Oh, god, LOLOL. It's just too too good.

[pauraque]

Ahahahaaaa, oh my.

Though actually, I kind of like "We're going to hell for this". XD

[capitu]

LOL I can see a lot of situation in which that would legit work. :D

[birdsofshore]

I *love* that one! I'm so going to use it :DD

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hannelore/]

This is AWESOME (though then again I can think of how some things like "Hello Vicar" could be awesome too). Hee! Thanks for sharing.