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birdsofshoreTitle: Eidheann's Big Birthday Surprise
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Warnings: I can't even.... Where to begin? Erm, extreme silliness. NO REALLY. Consent issues.
Author's note: When I realised it was![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eidheann_writes' birthday, I had a good hard think to myself, “What would Eidheann like the most? What would make her happy?” And then I just went and did this instead because it amused me. Sorry about that.
“Draco... it will only take a minute. I can promise you that. I'll be very quick.”
“No. Would you kindly not manhandle me any more? I have not the slightest bit of interest in what you're proposing. In fact I'd rather stick flobberworms in my ears.”
*wrestle* *pant*
“Keep... still... damn you, Draco, just let me....”
“Get off! Ouch! It's never going to fit in there, anyway, Potter, you can give it up now.”
“It will if I stuff it in... stop wriggling... come on, it's part way up already; the nice Muggle lady would really like it if you let me...”
“The nice Muggle lady can fuck right off. It's not natural. It's perverted and sick and wrong and Malfoys don't do this.”
“Look, I'm really sorry Draco, but a birthday surprise is a birthday surprise. I'm going to have to use magic...”
*scuffle* *growl* *swish and flick*
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Warnings: I can't even.... Where to begin? Erm, extreme silliness. NO REALLY. Consent issues.
Author's note: When I realised it was
eidheann_writes' birthday, I had a good hard think to myself, “What would Eidheann like the most? What would make her happy?” And then I just went and did this instead because it amused me. Sorry about that.*
“For heaven's sakes, Potter, get off me. I don't want to do it, and that's that.”“Draco... it will only take a minute. I can promise you that. I'll be very quick.”
“No. Would you kindly not manhandle me any more? I have not the slightest bit of interest in what you're proposing. In fact I'd rather stick flobberworms in my ears.”
*wrestle* *pant*
“Keep... still... damn you, Draco, just let me....”
“Get off! Ouch! It's never going to fit in there, anyway, Potter, you can give it up now.”
“It will if I stuff it in... stop wriggling... come on, it's part way up already; the nice Muggle lady would really like it if you let me...”
“The nice Muggle lady can fuck right off. It's not natural. It's perverted and sick and wrong and Malfoys don't do this.”
“Look, I'm really sorry Draco, but a birthday surprise is a birthday surprise. I'm going to have to use magic...”
*scuffle* *growl* *swish and flick*
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 04:56 pm (UTC)I did that when I saw that sesame street art last year. I actually choked on my own spit and had to run to the toilet and vomit, LOLOL
What a great compliment, I am so happy I made you choke on saliva on your birthday.