![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
birdsofshoreTitle: Eidheann's Big Birthday Surprise
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Warnings: I can't even.... Where to begin? Erm, extreme silliness. NO REALLY. Consent issues.
Author's note: When I realised it was![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eidheann_writes' birthday, I had a good hard think to myself, “What would Eidheann like the most? What would make her happy?” And then I just went and did this instead because it amused me. Sorry about that.
“Draco... it will only take a minute. I can promise you that. I'll be very quick.”
“No. Would you kindly not manhandle me any more? I have not the slightest bit of interest in what you're proposing. In fact I'd rather stick flobberworms in my ears.”
*wrestle* *pant*
“Keep... still... damn you, Draco, just let me....”
“Get off! Ouch! It's never going to fit in there, anyway, Potter, you can give it up now.”
“It will if I stuff it in... stop wriggling... come on, it's part way up already; the nice Muggle lady would really like it if you let me...”
“The nice Muggle lady can fuck right off. It's not natural. It's perverted and sick and wrong and Malfoys don't do this.”
“Look, I'm really sorry Draco, but a birthday surprise is a birthday surprise. I'm going to have to use magic...”
*scuffle* *growl* *swish and flick*
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Warnings: I can't even.... Where to begin? Erm, extreme silliness. NO REALLY. Consent issues.
Author's note: When I realised it was
eidheann_writes' birthday, I had a good hard think to myself, “What would Eidheann like the most? What would make her happy?” And then I just went and did this instead because it amused me. Sorry about that.*
“For heaven's sakes, Potter, get off me. I don't want to do it, and that's that.”“Draco... it will only take a minute. I can promise you that. I'll be very quick.”
“No. Would you kindly not manhandle me any more? I have not the slightest bit of interest in what you're proposing. In fact I'd rather stick flobberworms in my ears.”
*wrestle* *pant*
“Keep... still... damn you, Draco, just let me....”
“Get off! Ouch! It's never going to fit in there, anyway, Potter, you can give it up now.”
“It will if I stuff it in... stop wriggling... come on, it's part way up already; the nice Muggle lady would really like it if you let me...”
“The nice Muggle lady can fuck right off. It's not natural. It's perverted and sick and wrong and Malfoys don't do this.”
“Look, I'm really sorry Draco, but a birthday surprise is a birthday surprise. I'm going to have to use magic...”
*scuffle* *growl* *swish and flick*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 04:54 pm (UTC)I have had about 5 hours sleep average all week. Hence all the above, really! :DD
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 04:54 pm (UTC)hahahaha. You are such a nutroll. I love you. ♥
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 04:56 pm (UTC)I did that when I saw that sesame street art last year. I actually choked on my own spit and had to run to the toilet and vomit, LOLOL
What a great compliment, I am so happy I made you choke on saliva on your birthday.
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 04:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 05:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 05:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 05:07 pm (UTC)And happy birthday
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 05:16 pm (UTC)Thank you
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 05:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 06:01 pm (UTC)HAPPY BIRTHDAY
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 08:11 pm (UTC)And happy birthday
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 08:42 pm (UTC)(Er... have I?)
no subject
Date: 2013-07-12 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-13 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-13 07:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-13 07:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-14 08:00 pm (UTC)Also, you should totally draw more. ;)
no subject
Date: 2013-07-14 08:51 pm (UTC)I think I amuse myself far too often ;-)
no subject
Date: 2013-07-19 12:26 am (UTC)at least until Draco tells his father. Such cracky fun.