Rec: Treat yourself to a fic of great Strangeness, Loveliness, and general All-Round Genius

[birdsofshore]

I am worried this is not going to get all the adoring reads it should, because there are some potential reasons to be put off. I will tell you all the reasons you might THINK you won't like it, and then explain why you are soooo wrong. :D

First, it's at  hp_kinkfest, and that's not everyone's cup of tea. But this is not kinky or scary. Well, it's a leetle bit kinky. But only in a good way. There's nothing that should upset (except, maybe, the atrociousness of one of the jokes. JUST KIDDING).

Second, it's got a threesome in it, and it's one some people find a bit problematic: Harry/Draco/Snape. But would you really begrudge Snape a share of the smutty goodness that H & D can bring to his life? You would? You hard-hearted devils! Read this, and feel ashamed when you contrast your own meanness with Harry's open-hearted goodness (and then you can get all flustered at the hot emotional dynamics between the three of them, heh).

Third, and there's no getting round this, it's, erm, about having a fetish for lollipop ladies / crossing guards in uniform. STEP AWAY FROM THE BACK BUTTON. This may cause you to believe that this fic is perhaps a little less than serious and dignified at all times. And you may, strictly speaking, be correct. It is an absolute hoot. But it's also hot and touching, and has moments of poetic wistfulness, and gorgeous observations about people's motivations and reactions. I adore who_la_hoop's light and tender touch with kink, and the playful, romantic mood that surrounds all the wit and sauciness.

The fourth reason is: there is no fourth reason. In fact there is NO REASON that you should not immediately go over the road to  hp_kinkfest  and read this work of genius. Off you go, now. Hold hands at the crossing, and remember to thank the nice lady.

(I am sure you have all read who_la's fics before, and know they are all joyous things, so none of this would have put you off anyway, but I just wanted to draw your attention to this fic's existence, just in case :D)

Title:  An Idiot's Guide to Crossing the Road
Author:  who_la_hoop
Prompt Number:  #266 submitted by  birdsofshore Snape really likes Muggle lollipop ladies. Consequently he spends a lot of time crossing the road.)
Kink Showcased:  Uniform kink (lollipop person/crossing guard)
Rating:  NC17
Pairing(s):  Harry/Draco, Harry/Draco/Snape
Summary:  Snape can't really be alive . . . can he? But why is someone with his face lurking about around a certain lollipop lady? When Harry and Draco discover the truth, it's possible their lives will never be the same again.
Content Notes/Warnings:  EWE. Live!Snape (being dead puts a crimp on your sex life, after all). H/D established relationship. Sort of public sex. Threesome. Unattractive uniforms. Mild spanking. Wanking. Blow jobs. Bad jokes.
Word Count:  ~10,000
Author's Notes:  I am not quite sure what genre this fic is. It's a bit cracky. But also a bit dirty. So, er, dirt-crack! Or crack-dirt, if you prefer. Either way, the blame for this can firmly be placed with Mr Birds, who prompted this in jest. Though maybe a teensy-weensy bit of the blame can be appointed to  birdsofshore, for not disciplining her man firmly enough. Let them both serve as the Awful Example – never prompt anything unless you actually want to read it :D
PS. I have modified the pairing, to suit the 'plot', so apologies to anyone who was looking forward to Snape shagging a Muggle lollipop lady, you'll have to put up with the multiple cocks instead.

Comments

[capitu]

That was such a crazy fic. :D I loved it from the very picture of the lollipop lady and I knew it was going to be full of teh awesome. It was. :)


Harry made me go through the threesome! <3 and his eager little face, and next we know, he's sitting on Snape's lap.

*shakes head* You two are scary. SCARY I SAY! <333 Never change.

[birdsofshore]

I have got far too much credit for this. The whole thing came out of the sick, sick brains of Mr Birds and Who_la. I just egged them on quite a lot.

(and - bum chums. I might have been responsible for bum chums).

[capitu]

bum chums was ftw. Your husband the secret slasher. lol my bf is a secret harry/ron shipper!

[birdsofshore]

Harry/Ron, woohoo! He likes the bromance!

[omi-ohmy.livejournal.com]

Ok, I am lolling just at your tag: 'kink: lollipop ladies'

:D all round for the fic, Who_la, you, and Mr birds.

[birdsofshore]

Yes I am hoping not to have too much call to use that one again ;-)

What was surprising was how many of my existing tags fitted it ALL TOO WELL.

[appleling.livejournal.com]

Oooh that sounds so interesting! Harry/Draco AND Snape in a threesome sounds utterly delicious *smacks lips* I have it bookmarked now! I'll read it soon-ish! Thank you for the rec!

P.S. This is the first time I've heard of a "lollipop lady"... now I can't seem to stop repeating "lollipop lady" over and over.... I like the way it sounds... "lollipop lady"...we definitely didn't have "lollipop ladies" in Malaysia...

[birdsofshore]

It's a fabulous read, I promise! Lollipop lady is a great phrase, I agree. It sounds much kinkier and more erotic than it is... well, more than it usually is :D

[who_la_hoop]

Great strangeness! :D

Thank you for this lovely rec, you lovely, lovely thing. ♥

I can't actually remember if Snape wears pants in the story! I am a failure as an author. If he does, he takes them off fairly quickly, as I recall, arf.

[birdsofshore]

Great strangeness, and strange greatness :D

He does wear pants! I noticed most specifically, and intended to question you at length about your non-canon compliance, tut.

[who_la_hoop]

Depends whether we're talking pants pants or trousers pants :D I seem to recall that we had canon proof he doesn't wear trousers under a robe, but in my fic he's not wearing a robe... So ner.

[birdsofshore]

I'm all about Snape's underpants. I wouldn't make a tag about Snape's trousers, that would be insane.

[who_la_hoop]

Ah! In which case, it's only pureblood aristocrats who are firmly in the 'pants-free' camp, and as a half-blood Snape is free to wear pants as the whim takes him. Fact!

Speculation about undies is good. But speculations about trousers is also good. For a while, in Doctor Who fandom, I was infamous as the girl who asked the show's costume designer whether the doctor's trousers fastened with a button fly or a zip fly. (It was a HOT TOPIC amongst those of us who liked a bit of NC17 Doctor/Rose goodness. I feel no shame. For the record, they zipped :D)

[birdsofshore]

Ha! Well, your next task is to get more detailed info from JKR about adult Snape's pant habits. But you know she's just going to say they are grey and depressing.