Claiming my collab(s!)

[birdsofshore]

Reveals are up at hd_collab and I can lay claim to the two pieces I was lucky enough to have a hand in. There's also a load of waffle about them so feel free to skip it unless that kind of thing interests you.

Title: O Sinners, Let's Go Down
Team Members: birdsofshore and raitala
Word Count: ~32,000
Rating: NC-17
Hogwarts Subject: Muggle Studies
Warnings: Mild religion bashing, fetishising the rituals of Catholicism, mild homophobia
Summary: It seemed like such a straightforward plan ‒ a trip to Suffolk to research his mother's family tree and spend a few days relaxing by the seaside. Harry wasn't looking for anything more than that. He certainly wasn't looking for Draco Malfoy.

I was wildly excited to be collaborating with raitala. However, we hit some bumps in the road almost immediately and it became obvious we were going to have to come at it from a different angle. Rai suggested that she draw a sketch and send it to me in the hopes it might spark something. I thought this was a great idea. This is what she sent:


Honestly, I nearly died. I have SUCH a kink for priests and confessionals and whatnot - which Rai knows full well - and this was absolutely irresistible, but, at the same time, I felt horrified at the thought. Was I actually going to do this? Was I really going to write Priest!Draco seducing Harry, in church, wearing his priest's vestments? REALLY?

Well, 32k later, I still haven't quite got over my shame, but I really, really did do it. It was a struggle for me, and a few times I thought I wasn't going to get to the end, but I'm glad now that I stuck with it, and that I managed to write the story that rai's art started telling in my head. (Which, as it happens, wasn't the story rai had in mind at ALL, but apparently my muse is a contrary swine sometimes).

I worried that people who were religious would be offended by the fic, and that people who were not religious would be turned off by the subject. I still don't know, but people who read it have been awfully encouraging about it. Now I'm not anon any more, I wanted to say that if anyone was considering reading it but felt dubious about the subject matter, please do feel free to ask me anything that would help you make your mind up about it. I wouldn't want anyone to be upset by a story of mine if I could avoid it.

I'd also like to say a massive thank you to lumosed_quill and who_la_hoop, who were wondrous betas, and the several lovely people who I whined to about how fucking hard this story was to write. *blows kisses*

So, this was all a bit angsty. My second collab, by contrast, was a complete breeze. :DDD

Title: The Morning After
Team Members: birdsofshore and capitu
Word Count: ~5500
Rating: R
Hogwarts Subject: Muggle Studies (because probably none of this would have happened if Draco had taken Muggle Studies in the first place).
Warnings: Cruelty to toasters?
Summary: This is what happens when you stick your wand in places where it really shouldn't go.

I somehow managed to convince capitu that writing a fic together would be fun and easy. And, somehow, it WAS! I have to take the blame for the ridiculous concept of Draco fighting with Harry's toaster, but, my god, did capitu run with the idea. She's a comedy genius! You probably worked out, if you read it, that capi wrote the toaster and I wrote Draco. I still have no idea how anyone could characterise a fricking toaster and make it adorable, hilarious, feisty, lovable, touching and preposterously believable. HOW? The way it worked, was, I would send her a bit of Draco, then get her piece back via email, and I'd be alternately hooting with laughter, and gnashing my teeth because her bits were FUNNIER than mine.

lumosed_quill also betaed this for us. She deserves a medal!

Oh, and yes, I did comment on this one while it was still anon. I was trying to throw certain guessers off the scent. :D I only commented on the parts that I didn't write.

So, to sum up. Lessons I have learned from the whole experience:

1) Never collab with raitala. She will send you evil, gorgeous art that makes you write 32k of priest!smut.

2) And on no account EVER collab with capitu. She's just too bloody funny and it makes you look bad by comparison.

♥

Comments

[gracerene]

You totally threw me off with your comment! I'd thought that the Draco bits sounded like you, but then you commented, and I was pretty sure you'd written Sinners, so I was very confused! So tricksy!

But two brilliant, very different fics that I enjoyed immensely. :D

[birdsofshore]

Heh, I didn't know I'd fooled anyone else with my comment! I felt so naughty doing it (but I asked the mods and they said it was OK...)

Thanks so much, grace, I really appreciate your enthusiastic reactions to them <3

[snowgall]

Oh, loved them both so much! But I would have thought the lessons learned would be quite the opposite:

1) Always collab with raitala. She will send you evil, gorgeous art that makes you write 32k of priest!smut.

2) And on no account EVER turn down an opportunity to collab with capitu. She's just too bloody funny and it makes you look bad by comparison will raise your game in friendly competition.

And I would add:

3) NEVER go against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line! (translation: don't think you can throw me off your scent - I'm onto you and your shenanigans!)

♥

[birdsofshore]

Hehehe! Well, I never DO seem to learn, so maybe it's better that the lessons I don't learn are the ones I suggested. ;)

I can't resist the challenge of number 3, though. I hope you're guessing at LDWS? Had much luck spotting me and capitu so far? :P

[snowgall]

I haven't been able to guess capitu yet, but I think I *might* be able to eventually - I just need to read more of her stuff to know her style :) She's too new yet for me!

I think I did guess you correctly for at least one of the previous LDWS's, and came close on another (that is, I narrowed it down to two or three drabbles that could have been yours, and one of them was). But in general, guessing drabbles is hard! There's just not enough word count to really recognize someone, and because of the tight constraints, I think people's styles get modified a lot. So I'm not going to claim that I will know which are yours - I probably won't :)

But it's been fun reading and voting for LDWS. I'm looking forward to this week's set!

[snowgall]

In case you were wondering, I have NO IDEA which of this week's 5 drabbles are yours (assuming you didn't use your skip, which I think you didn't given your name is crossed off as having submitted a piece).

Indeed, I have no idea about *any* of these drabbles. None of them seem like yours OR capitu's! I give up; you win :)

[birdsofshore]

Ah... I think maybe YOU win... I can't see anything in the rules about not mentioning this, so... I *did* use my skip. (Writers get crossed off once they've negotiated that with the mods).

It was a shame, but I went to the London meet up on Saturday and that's my main (sometimes my only) writing day each week. I'm terribly behind with cross gen, so something had to give!

[snowgall]

Oh! I'm torn between thinking it's a shame you weren't able to write this week, and feeling good that the reason I couldn't identify you is because you didn't write :) I'm a little relieved, I think ♥ I honestly couldn't think of a single drabble which seemed like you!

[digthewriter]

That is very nice art.

[birdsofshore]

Isn't it just? I was sunk from the moment I saw it.

[capitu]

God, it was, so, so easy and fun. I couldn't believe it! And yes, you are to blame, just wait until I ~claim~ and I'll blame you properly. <3

Seriously, thank you, again and again, for wanting to do this with me and for making it fun for me and for being awesome. I'm happy I could write-up to your expectations and manage to write something that we both adored writing. So much fun!

And hey, new icon! XD

[birdsofshore]

OH MY GOD *dies at cuteness*

That's not fair! I want one! I want a Draco icon saying, oh, I don't even know what. *covets*

You are not allowed to be so adorable <333

[capitu]

I didn't know what Draco would say, but it's a statement. :D

[snowgall]

LOVE IT

[lq-traintracks.livejournal.com]

Omgomgomgomg! YES. <3

[birdsofshore]

Oh, my god, you're too good to me <3333

I'm in bed, I'll reply properly tomorrow. This is the BEST. Thank you!

[fantasyfiend09.livejournal.com]

That is an adorable icon and suits you perfectly!

[birdsofshore]

*twirls* THANK YOU SO MUCH

I couldn't get the select box thingy to work properly on my phone, so it cropped it a bit, sorry :(

But I love it. We match! I'm so thrilled :DD


eta UGH I can't get ANYTHING to work. I'm selecting toaster but getting BIRD O_O

All bow down to the fabulous Birds

[divertazsc.livejournal.com]

Ok, the second fic first. What were you two smoking....holy crap I laughed so much at that I was snorting at the end. My devious and proper pure blood outsmarted by a toaster. Great fluffy fun.

That first glorious story, what can I say. That's what I love about fanfiction, it so often blows away the expectations people have by being so well constructed and written. That was no mere "priest kink". That was a serious take on forgiveness and redemption. We must prove our worth to ourselves and those we hold dear and no overdressed morally bankrupt old man in a bad house dress should every be able to demean you in the name of a fairy tale.

Great job all around with the silly and the serious.

RE: All bow down to the fabulous Birds

[birdsofshore]

Gosh, you have me blushing like mad here. Thank you so much. I'm just delighted that you enjoyed them both. I blame the second one entirely on capitu. She inspires the most fabulous nonsense ever. It really was fun to write.

Then, the first one, well, I'm so flattered by what you say. I wasn't even sure I could pull off the priest kink in itself, so to hear that you got a lot more from the story was a real boost for me. Thanks for taking the time to tell me.

[this-bloody-cat.livejournal.com]

LOL! Your lessons <333 But both your collabs were absolutely wonderful -- I was so into Draco as a priest, and so into Draco fighting with Harry's toaster! I loved them both to bits! :D

[birdsofshore]

Thank you! It was a super fest - really something different, and I loved all of the things I read and viewed (*cough* I may have not got completely caught up yet)

[besamislabios]

Awesome stories, both of them!
I was delighted surprised you had written along with Capitu that brilliant and funny fic. As I was reading it I remembered a very cute h/d fanart art from red_rahl which also features a toaster! :D

[birdsofshore]

LOL! We both felt we'd seen the 'Draco confused by a toaster' trope a few times before, but we didn't think we'd seen it from the toaster's POV!

Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed the stories.

[lq-traintracks.livejournal.com]

You're brilliant to beta for and let me tell you why. You never realize how awesome what you do is, so I get to be the first (or second) person to say, "This is fucking AMAZING." Then, invariably, when it posts, everybody else goes, "This is fucking AMAZING," and I not only get to be the first to have seen it; I get to be RIGHT. Mwaaaahahahahahaha! It feeds my ego to beta you. ;-D :-D

Seriously, I adored both of these so much. <3

[birdsofshore]

Gah! *hides head in confusion* You always give the most overwhelming compliments!

Thank you ♥

[fantasyfiend09.livejournal.com]

Testament to your brilliance that you wrote two fabulous but completely different fics. As I said in my comment on Sinners, you really captured my church experience frighteningly well. Are you sure Draco isn't based on an Episcopal rector from California? o.O Which is to say, everyone has very different church experiences, but what you wrote is at least A true one, even if not EVERYONE's experience.

I want a sequel to Morning After. No. I want a series. The Adventures of Draco and the Toaster. So brilliant.

[birdsofshore]

I'm so sorry that you had a priest who compares like that to Draco. How bloody awful.

Thanks so much for your kind words. It was good to blow off steam and write something a little offbeat in between slogging away at Sinners. I agree - there should be a Toaster Series. capitu can write it! :D

[fantasyfiend09.livejournal.com]

*shrugs* It was mainly awful for the priest. I just feel bad for him. I feel bad for anyone who feels stuck in a job that's all wrong for them.

No! It's COLLAB. Don't you try to bow out. *looks stern*

[lijahlover.livejournal.com]

I say if we get more priest stories always collab with raitala I have such a thing for it.

capitu is sooooooo funny :) So collab with her again also LOL!

I am no help to you what so ever I am bad with the peer pressure. *g*

[birdsofshore]

Hahaha, nobody is helping at all. It's as if you WANT people to write dirty kinky stories and then utterly ridiculous things too. ;)