Haiku: Remember, Remember

[birdsofshore]

Title: Remember, Remember
Author: birdsofshore
Pairing: Harry / Draco
Word count: 177
Rating: G
Warnings: Er, haiku
Summary: A baker's dozen of haiku, for Bonfire Night
Author's Notes: For omi_ohmy
Dear Omi: I wanted to write you something to say thank you for all your loveliness. I am frustrated at how flawed these are, when I wanted to write something beautiful for you, but they were written with ♥. I recently learned that haiku can mean 'puff of smoke on the air': I hope you like these puffs of smoke for Bonfire Night.



Moonlight gleams on your
Bright head of hair. Our breath meets
In puffs of vapour.

Booted feet crunch dry
Leaves; I pause to gently taste
Your sweet wine-spiced lips.

We swing him between
Us as we walk. His small weight
Grounds me pleasingly.

This is the place. Here
Faces turn to the bonfire
To be warmed; they glow.

Crowds gather. My hand
Takes yours, holds tight, to keep you:
Safe; with me; always.

Broad sweeps of colour
Begin to paint a mural
On the horizon.

Small mittened fist grasps
a sparkler. His hair, bright blue,
mirrors the fireworks.

A tumble of stars
Pour from above, a stream of
Crackling energy.

The haven of you:
Your neck smells woodsmoke and wool
As I press nearer.

The sky blazes light.
No magic, just gunpowder.
A fierce, wild wonder.

The brightness steals my
Breath (or perhaps the lines of
Your face in profile).

You hoist him up on
Your shoulders. He squeals, a pure
Wriggle of delight.

The big finale:
Silver sparks ignite the sky.
My heart flames with joy.

Comments

[icicle33]

That was really sweet and clever to write in haiku for bonfire night.Enjoy it tomorrow. I know when I was in London I had a really great time on bonfire night. = )

[omi-ohmy.livejournal.com]

Oh, you! I have never had anything written for me before, did you know that? I think that this is the perfect first thing, and I am entirely flattered that you decided I needed something beautiful. Thank you. It is beautiful, and calls to mind other of my favourite poems (such as 'Beatrix is Three' by Adrian Mitchell): there is something so magical about the juxtaposition of shared love for a child, the way a lover takes your breath away, and of course the wonder of the fireworks.

I am trying to pick out my favourite lines, but I love all of this so much. I think the last five stanzas moved me the most, but the whole thing has a wonderful flow and rhythm to it, and I love it. Thank you so very, very much! ♥ ♥ ♥

Now I really better get on with doing your betaing! ;)

[marianna-merlo.livejournal.com]

OMG!!!!!!!! This is awesome! So sweet and so romantic, wow I love it.
"A tumble of stars pour from above, a stream of crackling energy." AND "You hoist him up on your shoulders.... My heart flames with joy."

You can really feel what a great, healthy, loving relationship these two have, especially with taking care of Teddy (guessed from the hair color :P) together as a team, like a real family. As if they are his parents.

Your words, as always, inspire such poignant emotion! <3

[lijahlover.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhhhh this is so lovely sweet and romantic *happy happy sighs*

[omi-ohmy.livejournal.com]

Ok, some of my favourite bits:
'Our breath meets / in puffs of vapour'

'Your neck smells woodsmoke and wool'

'He squeals, a pure / Wriggle of delight'

'My heart flames with joy'

And the brightness stealing the breath. And the everything.

All the ♥

[wooly-bear.livejournal.com]

Omg, this was so lovely!

~His small weight
Grounds me pleasingly.~

Loved this line! Loved all the lines about Teddy. So perfect. ♥

[vlorahp.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, these are beautiful! Very evocative and happy. :)

[who_la_hoop]

Oh! Very beautiful ♥ ♥ ♥

[evilgiraff.livejournal.com]

Lovely :-)

We will be in town for fireworks tomorrow night, I love the noise and the smell and the oooing and ahhing. Best celebration of the year, and you've captured it well!

[naadi.livejournal.com]

Absolutely lovely! ^.^

[leemarchais.livejournal.com]

I like that. :) Very lovely prose and images.

[birdsofshore]

Thank you! Bonfire night is such a lovely festival.

[birdsofshore]

I am so happy you like it. Of course I wanted to try to write you something beautiful! It's lovely to hear which are your favourite bits. It was one of those moments where I thought "what on EARTH am I doing writing bad haiku about Harry and Draco on bonfire night?" So relieved it was ok :D

[birdsofshore]

Thank you Marianna, you are always so encouraging! I am very glad you liked it.

[birdsofshore]

Oh thank you, it was lovely trying to write something sweet and happy. Glad you enjoyed it!

[birdsofshore]

I am so glad you like that part. I was pleased with those two lines. Fireworks night is so exciting for children, I thought Harry and Draco would enjoy having Teddy with them.

[birdsofshore]

Thank you vlora! I am really glad you like them.

[birdsofshore]

Thank you very much ♥

[birdsofshore]

Oh thank you, I am glad you liked it. I hope you have a great firework display!

[birdsofshore]

Thank you Naadi ♥

[birdsofshore]

I am glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for the kind words.

[omi-ohmy.livejournal.com]

They aren't bad haiku! I'm still chuffed that you wrote something for me, it was so lovely of you. :)

[lokifan]

Gorgeous!

[birdsofshore]

Thank you very much :-)

[lumosed-quill.livejournal.com]

OH!!!! <33333

This was so beautiful, Birds. "...woodsmoke and wool..." Mmmm, I just LOVE that! I love the whole thing. :-)

[birdsofshore]

LOL, I feel quite squirmy about you reading this old stuff. I don't even know how to write haiku *blush*.

You're very sweet <3

[lumosed-quill.livejournal.com]

Who does except for the really great Japanese poets? I loved your poem. <33

(But I don't want to make you squirmy, so I won't read the old stuff -- IF YOU WRITE ME NEW STUFF!!!)

*hugs* :-D