I have mentioned it before, so you probably did know. And by sentence framing, I mean things like, how often writers use long sentences compared to short ones, or if they prefer to use connectives or short punchier lines. With you, what you do is things like this (using Hungry as an example bc I have that one bookmarked, haha):
Draco's face curled into a scowl. "I'd like nothing better, Potter, but unless I cut off my arm – and believe me, I am considering it – we are, literally, stuck here."
Harry jerked his arm furiously away from Malfoy, but succeeded only in wrenching both of their arms painfully at the socket.
"Stop it, you idiot!" hissed Malfoy. "Can't you see we're attached? Calm down and stop yanking me around."
Character A says something, and then you have character B do something, and then it goes back to the dialogue.
Someone else might have character A react to character B's action within the dialogue - And stop jerking your arm, can't you see we're attached? - and others might have them react with their own action - Draco hissed when Harry jerked his arm furiously - or something else entirely, but none of them are wrong, just different ways of writing the same thing.
The way you write is lovely, you have absolutely nothing to feel self-conscious about! <3
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2015-01-10 09:52 pm (UTC)Draco's face curled into a scowl. "I'd like nothing better, Potter, but unless I cut off my arm – and believe me, I am considering it – we are, literally, stuck here."
Harry jerked his arm furiously away from Malfoy, but succeeded only in wrenching both of their arms painfully at the socket.
"Stop it, you idiot!" hissed Malfoy. "Can't you see we're attached? Calm down and stop yanking me around."
Character A says something, and then you have character B do something, and then it goes back to the dialogue.
Someone else might have character A react to character B's action within the dialogue - And stop jerking your arm, can't you see we're attached? - and others might have them react with their own action - Draco hissed when Harry jerked his arm furiously - or something else entirely, but none of them are wrong, just different ways of writing the same thing.
The way you write is lovely, you have absolutely nothing to feel self-conscious about! <3