While Harry’s battles are public and carried out under constant scrutiny from the press and those around him, Snape’s battles are private and conducted in the shadows of secrecy.

I have to say, Snape aces this. For someone as unguarded in his bitterness as Snape is, the one area where he shows surprising control is in everything related to his undercover work and his ambiguous allegiance. The only time he really loses his shit and lets it be known that he craves recognition is when Sirius escapes and Snape is denied an Order of Merlin, and in that case 1) he's recently been confronted with his childhood tormentors, in the Shrieking Shack no less, which must have churned up horrible memories, 2) he believes Sirius betrayed the Potters, so he undoubtedly blames him for giving Voldemort access to Lily, 3) he went to the Shack to save Harry, just as he'd promised, and not only were the tables turned on him, but Harry was amongst those who knocked him out, and 4) Dumbledore teases him about it. Readers still point to this scene as an instance of Snape's ridiculous temper and egotism, but considering that the walls were closing in and he must have known things would only get worse, I don't see it as particularly damning. After that, he apparently accepts that he's signed on to endure whatever Dumbledore dishes out, and he never makes mention of rewards again. Except for his soul. He asks that Dumbledore not force him to damage his soul. For which Dumbledore teases him again.

*stops to have a smack-Dumbledore moment*

Canon both sexualises and romanticises Snape with these descriptions

JKR piles on the unsexy descriptions, too, though - spidery, greasy, like a plant kept too long in the dark, beady eyes, sallow skin, and so on and so forth. I suspect Snape's nose is meant to be ugly as well; evidently it never dawned on JKR that some people find hawkish noses attractive. There's also a conviction in Snape-is-gross corners of fandom that his greasy hair and uneven yellow teeth indicate bad breath and hygiene.

Still, whatever JKR's intentions, she clearly lost control of readers' interpretations of Snape, and this happened long before Alan Rickman burst on the scene.

it is precisely this animosity and hatred which originally drew me to this pairing … I thrived on the tension between the two characters and I loved Snape in all his bitter, flawed glory and the relationship dynamic between Harry and Snape was, quite genuinely, the key relationship of the series for me … that acrimonious relationship retextualised as sexual tension…

Yes. Thank you, yes. This is it for me, exactly. That first time I stumbled across a Snarry fic eight years ago - if it had been the tale of their domestic harmony and postwar happiness, I wonder if I would have gone searching for more. The breathless reaction I had was an electric connection to the ambiguity, the power struggle, the dysfunction and entanglement, the initial mystery of Snape and his inexcusable treatment of Harry, the uncontrollable need and transgression and erotic shiver between them. The sense that Harry didn't understand the lines Snape was crossing and moral boundaries he was breaking, and how Snape's fixation on him, on a student, his angry, voracious commitment to Voldemort's downfall in the person of one clueless, sarcastic, resilient boy, burned with torment and love/hate and sexual possessiveness.

No matter what revelations lay in store after that - including Lily and pointless death - that initial firestorm impression has stayed with me, and I can't write Snape/Harry without it.

In short:

Severus has always given me ALL THE FEELS. I just can't even begin to articulate how much Severus, as a character, and the Snarry ship means to me. LOVE.

This. What you said. Every bit of it. ♥
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birdsofshore

July 2020

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