Dear capitu, I don't know why, but whenever I try to write gift ficlets, the most arrant nonsense comes out of my head. This is no exception. But I hope it might make you smile.
*
Harry was up to his elbows in Doxys when Malfoy called to him.
“Potter? Come here!”
“I'm.... a bit busy,” Harry yelled, spraying Doxycide madly at another three that had emerged from the fusty old curtains in the Department of Magical Games and Sports. He hit two, but missed the other, and only his protective gloves saved him from a nasty nip.
“Potter! Come on. You've got to see this.”
Harry sighed. Since they had been set to work clearing out the disused rooms in the old Ministry of Magic, he had heard this phrase approximately five times a day. Malfoy was having a wonderful time wandering through the rooms and investigating all the exciting things such as infestations of magical creatures, terrifying books filled with Dark magic, and good old standbys such as woodworm and mildew.
The absolute worst day had been when they had cleared out Percy Weasley's old office and found a collection of... toys, and even worse, a variety of Percy-sized lingerie, that still had Harry shuddering whenever he thought of it. Malfoy, however, had looked at them thoughtfully, and his hand had hovered over one or two of the more outlandish items in an acquisitive manner, before Harry had Incendioed the whole lot. He couldn't think of much worse than anyone using a sex toy that had quite probably been up Percy's pureblood posterior. At least Harry now had a foolproof solution in case he was ever faced with the problem of premature ejaculation
Anyway, every time Malfoy had identified a new issue that needed their attention, he would shout for Harry, demanding that he stop whatever he was working on (usually Malfoy's previous discovery) and come and deal with it immediately. Malfoy would also usually expect a lot of praise for his cleverness in finding whatever-it-was.
Harry took off his goggles and mask and dumped them on the floor. He completely understood the need to render the old Ministry safe before it was turned into a home for war orphans, but he did wish it hadn't been allowed to fall into such dereliction after the move to the new premises. It was one of the worst jobs he and Malfoy had tackled together, and that was saying something.
He headed towards the direction of Malfoy's voice. “Where are you now?”
“This way,” came the echoey reply. “In the Department of Mysteries.”
Harry stomped down the stairs, ignoring the plaster falling from the walls as he did so. “We've been all through here already. We need to get proper shield gear before we can tackle the Bundimun outbreak.”
“No, look, while I was practising my Unforgivables on the Bundimuns, part of the wall fell down, and I've found another secret room!” The look of childish glee on Malfoy's face almost made up for the choking dust and the stench of damp.
Harry peered doubtfully at the ancient door, carved in unusual patterns, revealed at the back of the Hall of Prophecy. “You haven't already looked inside? There might be anything behind there; it could be risky.”
“Yes, that's why I want you to go first,” Malfoy smirked. “Because you're so good at Defence against the Dark Arts, I mean.”
Harry used his wand to shine some light on the surface of the door. There were runes, or... no, they were letters, written in what looked like gold leaf. They had been rubbed off in places and Harry struggled to make them out.
“R… E... O ... no, I think that's a C... Rec… something. Rec Room.. Means nothing to me. Any ideas?”
“Like Recreation?” Malfoy shrugged. “Come on, let's have a look.”
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timeasmymeasure
Someone Very Dedicated or Slightly Insane, part 1
Date: 2013-08-17 06:54 pm (UTC)Harry was up to his elbows in Doxys when Malfoy called to him.
“Potter? Come here!”
“I'm.... a bit busy,” Harry yelled, spraying Doxycide madly at another three that had emerged from the fusty old curtains in the Department of Magical Games and Sports. He hit two, but missed the other, and only his protective gloves saved him from a nasty nip.
“Potter! Come on. You've got to see this.”
Harry sighed. Since they had been set to work clearing out the disused rooms in the old Ministry of Magic, he had heard this phrase approximately five times a day. Malfoy was having a wonderful time wandering through the rooms and investigating all the exciting things such as infestations of magical creatures, terrifying books filled with Dark magic, and good old standbys such as woodworm and mildew.
The absolute worst day had been when they had cleared out Percy Weasley's old office and found a collection of... toys, and even worse, a variety of Percy-sized lingerie, that still had Harry shuddering whenever he thought of it. Malfoy, however, had looked at them thoughtfully, and his hand had hovered over one or two of the more outlandish items in an acquisitive manner, before Harry had Incendioed the whole lot. He couldn't think of much worse than anyone using a sex toy that had quite probably been up Percy's pureblood posterior. At least Harry now had a foolproof solution in case he was ever faced with the problem of premature ejaculation
Anyway, every time Malfoy had identified a new issue that needed their attention, he would shout for Harry, demanding that he stop whatever he was working on (usually Malfoy's previous discovery) and come and deal with it immediately. Malfoy would also usually expect a lot of praise for his cleverness in finding whatever-it-was.
Harry took off his goggles and mask and dumped them on the floor. He completely understood the need to render the old Ministry safe before it was turned into a home for war orphans, but he did wish it hadn't been allowed to fall into such dereliction after the move to the new premises. It was one of the worst jobs he and Malfoy had tackled together, and that was saying something.
He headed towards the direction of Malfoy's voice. “Where are you now?”
“This way,” came the echoey reply. “In the Department of Mysteries.”
Harry stomped down the stairs, ignoring the plaster falling from the walls as he did so. “We've been all through here already. We need to get proper shield gear before we can tackle the Bundimun outbreak.”
“No, look, while I was practising my Unforgivables on the Bundimuns, part of the wall fell down, and I've found another secret room!” The look of childish glee on Malfoy's face almost made up for the choking dust and the stench of damp.
Harry peered doubtfully at the ancient door, carved in unusual patterns, revealed at the back of the Hall of Prophecy. “You haven't already looked inside? There might be anything behind there; it could be risky.”
“Yes, that's why I want you to go first,” Malfoy smirked. “Because you're so good at Defence against the Dark Arts, I mean.”
Harry used his wand to shine some light on the surface of the door. There were runes, or... no, they were letters, written in what looked like gold leaf. They had been rubbed off in places and Harry struggled to make them out.
“R… E... O ... no, I think that's a C... Rec… something. Rec Room.. Means nothing to me. Any ideas?”
“Like Recreation?” Malfoy shrugged. “Come on, let's have a look.”